My younger son is a talker. He seems to be constantly talking about anything that comes to his mind. If he’s not given the opportunity to express himself fully or is asked to hold back, he becomes frustrated and seeks every chance to finish his thoughts. He cannot be ignored and always wants more time to talk, especially in group settings within the family.

I’m grateful to God for giving me two boys with very distinct personalities. My older son is a thinker, more quiet and introspective, carefully considering his thoughts before expressing his opinions. In contrast, his younger brother is a talker, a real chatterbox. There have been times when he felt discouraged or sad, retreating from us and refusing to talk. But eventually, he couldn’t hold his stories inside any longer and would share them because he found it challenging to keep them to himself. As a father, I’ve found dealing with a talker to be more straightforward than with a thinker. Most problems between us can be resolved through conversation, as he openly shares his thoughts, making it easier to find solutions. Typically, once we’ve talked things out, the problem is resolved and forgotten.

However, the challenge with talkers is that they can talk excessively and often at inappropriate times. There are occasions when he struggles to control his urge to speak and ends up saying things that should remain unspoken. If not directed and disciplined properly, this can lead to a habit of talking back, which is unacceptable in a child, even one with a talkative personality, as it relates to issues of respect and manners. Therefore, in the process of character development, I place a significant emphasis on cultivating the trait of “self-control” to help him.

To aid in this endeavor, I’ve turned to scriptures to guide him. Proverbs 10:19 emphasizes restraining the lips. “When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent.” Proverbs 29:11 reminds us that a wise person keeps his feelings under control, and a Psalm like Psalm 141:3 can encourage him to watch what he says and how he says it. We have engaged in various activities aimed at developing self-control. For example, we’ve played games where he challenges himself to maintain silence during meals and sets personal records. While it’s easy for me to remain quiet throughout an entire meal, it’s quite challenging for him to do so for even five minutes. Additionally, during read-aloud sessions, we’ve introduced rewards for the child who provides the most well-organized oral summary, using this incentive to encourage him to think twice and organize his thoughts before speaking.

Moreover, I’ve encouraged my talkative son to utilize his language skills in a positive way. In school, I’ve suggested that he use his gift of communication to help other students understand class concepts better. Additionally, I’ve encouraged him to serve in our summer camps, where his enthusiasm for talking can be put to good use. By creating safe environments for open conversations and emphasizing the value of using his communication skills to help others, I aim to channel his talkativeness in a constructive direction. This not only fosters personal growth but also allows him to positively impact those around him while staying true to his talkative nature.

My prayer for myself and my sons is as in Psalm 35:28, “And my tongue shall declare Your righteousness and Your praise all day long.”